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Chapter 1 - Lord Er-What Now?


We're finally getting somewhere with this story.

<- Prologue

Chapter 2 ->

(It's been a week since Scottick woke up at Slusher Wing. His status as a college student was confirmed and his classes for the semester have been picked. We join him exiting his last class for the day: Slush Fighting 101.)

Scottick: Oh man, what a day. A 50 page essay on Shakesphere, a 100 question test on Accounting, a playable game demo due for Coding, not to mention that my Anatomy book's not coming in for another 2 days, so I'll have to find an alternative to study out of. And then the strangest thing - "Practice your combat abilities?" What's that mean? Why does a college even have a combat class? Oh well. At least now I can go back to my dorm, cram all night to get these done, and then cry myself to sleep.

(Scottick suddenly bumps into a strange blue man.)

Scottick: Oh, sorry about that. Didn't see you there.

Blue: No need to apologize...we just need you to do something for us to make up for it...

(Two more Blues appear behind Scottick.)

Blues: (ominously) Join us...

Scottick: Oh great, one week in and I'm already getting keg party invites.

Blue: You see, you possess a power that not many have. A power shared only amongst your kind. And we want it.

Scottick: What power? If you're talking about my dry wit and sarcasm, I can see where you're going.

Blue: Not that, you idiot! You honestly don't know?

Scottick: Am I supposed to know? I mean, especially given that there's an actual class for it, at least for the sake of this fanfic.

???: Ha, ha. Such a fool. He may be useless as a fighter, but as a mere foot soldier, he will do just fine. Men! Do your jobs.

(The Blues charge at Scottick and attempt to box him in, but Scottick grabs one and tosses him into another. The third Blue attempts to grab him from behind, but Scottick slams a textbook into the Blue's face, knocking him out.)

Scottick: I knew those textbooks were useful for more than just studying. Now I'm sure that there's someone else out there. Come out so I can knock some sense into ya!

???: If you insist. I have to say, this is definitely new. It's been a while since I had to do the dirty work myself.

(A Blue in somewhat heavy armor and a single-seat podship reveals himself before Scottick.)

Scottick: ...so who exactly are you supposed to be?

???: I am known only as Lord Erasya, overseer of Big Blue's troops.

Scottick: Lord What-ya?

Erasya: Lord Erasya.

Scottick: Lord Baste-ya?

Erasya: No, it's Lord Erasya.

Scottick: Lord Hasteya?

Erasya: Lord Erasya!

Scottick: Lord Horatio?

Erasya: YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Scottick: Lord "I'll-Race-Ya?"

Erasya: NO, SHUT UP AND LISTEN! "Er-"

Scottick: "Er-"

Erasya: "-ace-"

Scottick: "-ace-"

Erasya: "-ya."

Scottick: "-ya."

Erasya: Lord Erasya! Is it really that hard to pronounce?

Scottick: I'm just gonna call you Erase for short.

Erasya: Okay, fine.

Scottick: You keep saying stuff about my powers. What's it about me that you want?

Erasya: I see. I'm sure you didn't hear of what happened to Stick Pritchard. You see, I'm part of a major group of organized criminals. Our mission is to rule over this pathetic planet by converting everyone on Earth to the allegiance of Blue. But if we really want complete control over this world, we need to first convert the strongest warriors this planet has to offer. You would make an excellent additio-

(Scottick sucker punches Erasya out of his podship.)

Scottick: Sorry, I kinda lost ya after "converting everyone" and felt the need to shut you up.

Erasya: You-you impudent roach! I was going to offer you the easy way out of this, but it looks like we're going to have to play hardball.

(Erasya begins to charge up an energy ball.)

Erasya: And believe me, I'm a professional at hardball.

Scottick: Should I run? Oh, that's a stupid question. YES!

(Scottick runs as fast as he can, but gets tripped by Erasya's laser eyes.)

Erasya: It sure helps to have laser vision. Now di-

(Suddenly, The Stwins simultaneously kick Erasya away!)

Stlou: Hey, Scott. How's it hanging?

Scottick: Oh, you know. Was about to get killed. Don't get a word that guy's saying about my "powers."

Strick: Really now? And who is this guy?

Erasya: I am Lord Erasya.

Strick: Lord Wha-

Scottick: Just call him Erase.

Erasya: Yes. What he said.

(Erasya goes back to charging the energy ball.)

Erasya: Now join your friend in Blue-

The Stwins: BROTHER PUNCH!

(The Stwins' combined punch knocks Erasya far away.)

Scottick: Why did you have to yell out your attack?

Strick: Because it's cool.

Stlou: It's also our power. You say you don't know yours, right? Well ours is the brotherly bond that we have. Our combined forces inhibit great power. Just an example for you.

Scottick: Alright, I think I'm starting to get what they're going with here. These powers are basically special abilties these Slusher guys have. Like superheroes, only these guys are in college, so that pretty much means that they get no sleep. Poor them.

(The Stwins deliver a Brother Uppercut into Erasya's jaw.)

Scottick: And as far as I can tell, I know no martial arts techniques, have no weapons, and generally have no special factors. So why would I have any of these powers if I don't have the potential for them? What could I even be good at?

The Stwins: TIME TO END THIS! BROTHER-

(Erasya prepares to fire his energy ball.)

Erasya: When you two see the afterlife, say hi to Brother Death for me!

Stlou: Well, at least we're dying with dignity.

Strick: I DON'T WANNA DIE I DON'T WANNA DIE I DON'T WANNA DIE I DON'T WANNA DIE

Scottick: Shoot! Gotta act fast!

(Scottick runs up to Erasya and delivers an uppercut of similar power to the Brother Uppercut!)

Erasya: (Struggling to get up) Th-that uppercut...how did you...

Stlou: That was just like the Brother Uppercut! How did you do that?

Scottick: I don't know...I just saw you guys do that, and I guess I...

(EPIPHANY!)

Erasya: Well, it doesn't matter if you've figured out your power already.

(Erasya pulls out the energy ball again.)

Erasya: BECAUSE NOT EVEN THAT WILL SAVE YOU FROM DEA-

(Scottick notices Ben Stickobi walking around with his light-saber and materializes a lightsaber for himself.)

Erasya: ...where did you get that?

Scottick: Deus ex machina.

Erasya: Well, like I said! It won't help you because you're already de-

(Scottick stabs the light-saber into Erasya's chest.)

Scottick: Have I ever mentioned that you take too long to do things?

(Scottick proceeds to slash Erasya repeatedly, ending with a cutting slice.)

Erasya: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! If there were any regrets that I've had with my whole life...it's that I'm dead.

(Erasya drops dead, the light-saber dematerializes.)

Scottick: Well that was annoying.

Stlou: Scott...I think it's time I told you why Slush Fighting 101 exists. The men that you just fought were Blues. Their goal is to rule the world, one invasion at a time. We don't fully understand what they want, other than to kidnap the strongest fighters the world can offer. They may even be linked to the disappearence of Pritchard's students. We have to be prepared and to unleash the hidden abilities within us.

Scottick: I see...this is turning out to be more serious than I thought. But you know what?

(Scottick looks down at Erasya's body.)

Scottick: ...at least I have something to study out of for Anatomy.

(The Stwins glance back at Scottick in surprise.)

- End -

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