What I now feel
DAR BE MEH, LE CAP'N VOONCE SPARROW (yes, I'm bring it back ye sorry lasses).
Anyway, I'm gonna go straight away with this and pour it with as much words as I can process in my mind during the time I was writing this thing :)
Okay, so getting down to it, I just want to say first that, regarding my previous forum post about me feeling "behind everyone else". Well, it was true that I always did feel like I'm steps behind all of you and never really felt ahead of anyone even if you guys thought that "Vince is a guy who is always one or more steps ahead of us.". I'm really sorry if you guys thought of that about me because I'm not ^ - ^ ;
Honestly, it's not just you guys who I feel like are steps ahead of me, but everyone else who I know in my life right now, only referring to those I truly care about. First, before I continue, I just want to say again how I really feel grateful to have been a part of this wiki, became you guys' friend and with you guys for becoming MY friends. I can't ask for any other people who I want to talk with and be with everyday than you guys. And that's a fact :D You guys are really one of the best people who I know in my life and I really wanted to say that again since it's been too long since I said that to any of you.
Continuing with what I was talking about, though you guys may have thought that, here in the wiki (and on Facebook) that I was one or more steps ahead of you, that's not the case back then: I was the most immature teenager you could possibly imagine and the friends who I met during that time were always a step or two ahead of me and that was something I already knew and accepted but I still wanted to keep moving forward and hopefully reach them too. As it turns out, ever since this year, a few of my friends have told me that, as of now, I'm the one who is steps ahead of them and now they are the ones who are feeling as though they are falling behind me. I won't mention who they are for privacy reasons, but when I did look back on myself and my own words, both here and to those friends of mine, I did come to fully notice the motivational/inspirational words I brought to you guys and them and after seeing a short film today (during the morning, hours before I wrote this), I was taken away and felt something in my own self that hasn't been touched since I saw "Blank Dream". Something that I forgot I learned from the latter. And that's never to always doubt yourself, never always looking back at the bad tides of the past but to just keep on living as strong as you can without losing hope and carrying on the fun and good memories you have with those you care about and just keep moving forward with your life. I forgot that one important lesson I learned and the one thing that "re-educated" me this year.
I just want to say that now, I'm not feeling that kind of thing in myself anymore, but rather something more in where, though bad things may happen to me, I will always look in the positive and try my best not to taint this new feeling in me.
All in all, I want to express how, in whatever you guys do, I'll support you all on it and can be sure that I will be here to have you guys' back no matter what. This goes the same with my friends in real life too and once again, I am grateful to you all and thank you for being my friends. In separate rows, I want to thank you all this way:
Fan, I want to thank you for being one of the people who can understand me and what I've been through and always one of the people to listen through with what I have to say. Thanks for being a "little sister" to me and I can assure you that your "big brother" will be here for you, no matter what! And I will be honest to you and though you may not once again believe me, but your artworks are still far better than my own, but that's not to say I'm not catching up to you. I won't let you beat me, Fanana. VOONCEH WILL GET THERE SOON (I just need to tie my shoes first). But in all seriousness, my artworks can't really top yours for the time being because, though you may consider mine advanced, I'm still, in truth, a beginner and I won't be able to truly consider my style better than anyone else's until I'm fully certain with myself that the art style and the level I aim at is the one that I can consider my "Prime". Again, thanks for always listening and supporting me; from then to now and to the many following days that we're still close friends.
Chak, I just wanted to say thanks for at least opening my own eyes at that time when you were still regularly active in the wiki. I did hate the way you acted but that was my immaturity at that time. Compared to now, I want to tell you that you are also one of the people that inspires me with what I do everyday. You and Fan. Both of you. I do know that you aren't all that goofy in truth, but I just want to say thanks for being the one to lift my spirits up even when I don't say it upfront like I should. Thanks for everything, bud (and may the all mighty Doge be with you!).
You two should know by now that out of everyone, I care about you two the most due to how close three of us are. At least that's what I believe we are :)
As for the rest of you:
James, if you can read this, I just want to say thanks for being a good friend and wherever you are now, I'm hoping you're doing great out there. Also, a bit of a reveal, Chak never said that your LOB meant "Long Overdued Buttwipes". It was me. I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to get back at Chak for a previous troll he did on me during the time before I did that.
Scott, though I don't see you much nowadays, if you can read this, thanks for being one of the guys to have helped me around at the time when I first joined the wiki and though we rarely talk to each other much, I still want to thank you for being my friend here.
TRS. I'm really sorry for being way too bossy of you. I should never have. You live your own life and that's something I should be in control of; nobody does except for you. I'm so sorry for forcing you to mature in MY own way instead of in YOUR own way. I should have seen my faults in those earlier backlashes of mine to you. I never should have said and done those. I just hope you return back to the old blue caped penguin with that beard that we all know and not the one who I forced you to be. Thanks for being a friend of mine, dude. I appreciate it. Also thanks for being one of the people I can rely on at times.
Seth, you are one of the people who are always siding with me and supportive of what I have to say and I appreciate those about you. Me and the others couldn't ask for a much supportive and good friend as you. Also, sorry in advance but... you're the beast weasel out there!
Try, I don't see you as much now though but I will say thanks for being one of the people here who I can rely on when I'm not around. You did show yourself a pretty great friend and how you can be a pretty understanding and fun guy just adds to that. I hope wherever you are and if you can read this, best wishes to you dude. I do hope you can come back and join us again.
MW, first I want to say thanks for being one of the guys to have filled in my role (somewhat) here during that time when I decided to leave. Thanks for also being a part of the group and for being a good friend all in all (I hope you haven't spoiling things regarding SU in secret, dude). I need to thank you for what you said at that other forum I made, it was really well written (in my opinion) and thanks for that. Also... side note, sorry for always beating you in nearly every game we play... I'll try to lower my level when playing with you (but not in Left 4 Dead 2; you'll have to catch up with me on that).
Bob, hey thanks for at least being a fun and cool guy and I do appreciate all of your opinion in regards to my series. It helps me a ton in truth to hear what you and the rest say about it. It lifts me up to do better with it and to make sure you and the rest's expectations on what could the world's first animated stick figure series is what you can expect it to be (but probably not with Ch I - SE 1 and 2 for obvious reasons). Thanks for being a good friend, dude. Yuki's a lucky girl to have you (trolololololololololol... sorry though).
Light, well I haven't much talked to you either except on three or four occasions, but still I want to say thanks for being one of my friends here. Really. Also, please keep an eye on your brother... especially during bed time... he might do something we don't want to know (again, sorry Bob).
GN, sorry for being way too harsh on you either (but you can't blame me). I can't say much since I haven't talked to you again in months now since you got banned for "those" reasons. But still, when you do get back and you are a changed guy... let's talk more with the rest and have fun without going all too serious, mkay?
Ultra, dude wherever you right now, I just want to say thanks for being the founder of the wiki and for being a good friend to all of us. We wouldn't have had a better time in the wiki if it weren't for you. I hope to see you again here, dude.
Drew, I know that we didn't much talk regularly as compared to the rest (not that anything I can remember, sadly), but I do want to say thank you for being a cool friend (reference to your title, lel). And your artworks are one of the things that inspired me to improve my own series' quality (You and Chak for that). If you're reading this, I hope that SlushBlaster of yours is still doing okay and I really hope you hang out with us again like you used to.
Austin, dude. I know you've changed and I can tell by our somewhat short discussions on FB recently. Like I told you back then, if you ever have a problem, dont be afraid to talk to us about it and we will be glad enough to help and cheer you up. Especially me. I've always wanted to cheer any of you up when any of you are feeling upset or angry because I don't want any of you guys to feel those too much and not live your individual days as fun or happy as it can. If you can read this, try to join us at the group chat on FB. Me and the rest really want to talk to you again. Seriously, m9.
Shaden... random guy. Where you at? Anyway, I just want to say thanks for everything you've done for me when you were as active as the rest of us at that time. You are one of the funn guys I know here (you, Chak and Skp: Sorry Khen, but you weren't equal enough (jk)). Hope to talk to you again, bro when you're active.
Skp, I can't say much except for being a good friend and for also being one of the people I can rely on. Also... no more kitteh catfaces... it haunts da moind.
BX... I just want to say sorry as well for being too harsh on you. I never intended to be. My intentions weren't meant to drive you away from us. I was just really creeped out with your questions and how I never really felt like your topics really contributed anything to the discussion we all usually have. Then again, that is just you being you. That's something I can't change. Sorry man, and I do hope you can come back and be friends with all of us again.
Dimitri, I just want to say thanks for being cool with me and the rest and having that second change with all of us. Thanks for being a good friend. I also wish your wiki gets as much more attention as it should. It's a pretty good wiki to put as much fan fiction or personal creations there as possible and also building a community there of your own. I believe in you buddy and I believe your wiki will grow to what you want it to be.
Khen, I just want to say thanks for being a good friend, not just to me, but for the rest of us. Although I just want to express how you really need to improve your listening/understanding skills. It can make you be a better version of you (also, as for those idiot classmates of yours... eh... you know what I mean). Apart from that, just remember that voonce is here for fabduck/skrubby to derp-talk with.
Francis, dude, I just want to say thanks for being my friend. I just want to see you talk with us again on Facebook or here on the wiki more.
Smiley, it's been too long, man. I just hope you come back and hang out with us if you and Francis can read this.
Waqas/CQ, dude. The randomness here is becoming too low without you, Shaden and Chak (also thanks for becoming my friend).
Leon. Dude. Where's your head at?
MS/Z, dude though me and the rest may not always understand or talk to you as much, I just want to say thanks for at least being a good friend. Hope you're still here with us.
Tri, I know I should never mention you here again after that unbelievable outburst of yours. But still, that doesn't mean you never became a part of this place and became a good friend of mine. I will say that your own style in drawing was pretty darn good and with stick figures, it was impressive too and you did become a source of driving factor for me at that time to keep pushing SU's design quality forward (same as with Chak and Drew). I just hope you the best even if you may not like any of us anymore. Though have somehow changed to dislike us all, just want to say that at least before that, you were a funny and good friend for all of us and just hope you can come around some day. We'll be glad to accept you back with open arms (I do take back every mean things I have said before and that's not meant to bring you back, I just want to take it back).
Mart. Dude. Don't be so serious or pessimistic as I was. It never leads to anything good. Trust me. I've been there. And here I am now, I've changed from that. Just want to voice out how I just want you to be the guy we all know you as.
Alec, I know it's been almost a year since we all last talked to you, but wherever you are, best wishes and thanks for being a cool friend for us all.
FlameSword, well I haven't talked to you much or hung out with you. But I just want to say how I appreciate your work here on the wiki. Your edits are what also keeps this place active and I do appreciate the help. Thanks for that, man.
Overall, I want to say once again I appreciate all of you guys' work and will always support you in whatever you do with your life that improve yourselves as who you are. I'll cheer you all on with all that I've got and ensure you guys reach your respective dreams. In the case that it may not go that way, no need to worry as you guys at least have us to look to and help you out. Don't ever forget what we all said to each other: No matter what happens, we will all have each other's backs when we need it. Staying true to that, I'll be here for any of you when you need me.
This is what I feel now. I'm sorry for everything I've said and done that may have been the main reason for the indifference we all now feel toward each other and if so... I feel sorry for everything and if you have anything to say to me, if it is something harsh, then please just say it. I do want to hear whaty ou guys feel and it is best that you all let it out instead of bottling it up in one place and let it overwhelm you to the point of it slowly beginning to ruin you, one way or another.
I also want to say thanks to Michael/Gildedguy once again for creating the Slush Invaders series. If it wasn't for him, none of us would be here, none of us would have become friends and none of us would at least be together as we all have said before on chat during the wiki's 2nd Year Anniversary back in 2014. Thanks Gilded (also, sorry for always mispronuncing your name as "Glidey", I didn't notice the placement of each letter until you pointed it out months ago). I have a lot of things to make up for, one of them being what I've done to all of you and what I've said so far that made you all be somewhat of a lower key of who you once were. I hope everyone can at least forgive me, each other and themselves for it. You don't have to forgive me though, but at least forgive each other yourselves and start anew.
I don't want to see any of you feeling down and letting the negativity take you over. I believe in you guys and that you can do better. So get up, be strong, let it out and move forward into your lives. Let the world know who you guys are and what kind of person you all are and the possibilities you can share.
This is all coming from me... and again... I hope all of us can join hands once again together like we used to and at last be the same again as back then. It may be awkward... but let's try.
Thank you, everyone!
- Vincetick! :D